Saturday, November 2, 2013

the beginning of all things to end - part II

first read part I here if you haven't already!


i opened my eyes. my head was hurting like an evil hammer crushed it, then put it back together and then crushed it again for good. i couldn't see very well, there was too much light. it was like as if none of my senses were working. well, i guess one was working because i was feeling like someone glued my t-shirt on me. wet! everything was wet and cold. some seconds later, when my brain started to regain it's function, i realized i was shaking like a naked brazilian in russia. "what the hell happened?" i thought to myself. of all the pain i was feeling in my head, there was a specific point which seemed to hurt more. i touched it and i was right, it definitely hurt more. i tried to get up as i pushed myself away from the sand and that was when i saw the red. my hand was covered in blood.

i got up and looked around for a bit. i wasn't the type of person who panicked but the situation was disastrous. there was a fucking ocean in front of me for god's sake! it was like fucking cast away. fucking tom hanks, on a fucking island, talking to a fucking ball. i was starting to lose it but then i heard him yelling at me: "n.!, n.!"

i turned around and saw him. he was running towards me and shouting repeatedly "are you okay?". i said "i'm fine." then he came and held my head inside his hands and turned it with a shocked look on his face, "you're bleeding man! fuck! how is this fine?" he was panting, "did you bleed too much? tell me?" his eyes were like crazy "we need to do something... shit. we need to do something!". i closed his mouth with my hand. "calm the fuck down, i said i'm fine." then i added, "i must have hit my head somewhere. i have no idea what happened.". he looked surprised, "you don't remember?" he asked me. i replied, "do i look like i remember? and can you please tell me why the hell we are on an island?". a smile appeared on his face, "it's not an island dude. have you watched too much cast away or what? you and your fucking mov-" i punched him.

"what the fuck man?!" he shouted as he fell down. "why did you do that?" - i could feel the anger building up inside me, "is this shit supposed to be funny? how can you laugh god dammit?" i yelled at him. "whoa whoa, calm down man, i'll tell everything. just calm down." he said seeming a bit scared. calm down... calm down... i hated these words so much.

"i am in the middle of nowhere, with a bleeding head, freezing like fuck, have no fucking clue about what just happened and have a retarded friend laughing at me! how can i calm down? tell me! how?!" i have to admit, this helped me start to get a little bit warmer. he couldn't say anything. i never saw him shocked this much. "i'm sorry..." he murmured. and then i remembered.


my friend reached for the drawer as we heard the door squeaking and the dog was out of control. not like he was doing something to protect us or whatsoever, he was barking like a rabid dog. i wasn't sure where to look because so many things were happening but as the infamous curiosity of mankind kicked in, my eyes chose the door and that was when i saw it.

there was a man, relatively huge. i mean, really huge. i considered myself tall but compared to him i was like frodo. he had a caveman beard and i don't know why but he reminded me of my father. he looked like he was in his mid-thirties, god, i sucked at these things. i was never able to guess someone's age my entire life. not even once. but as every other relentless loser, i took another guess again. what was there to lose anyway?

the man stopped my train of thought with a surprised look on his face saying; "put that away, joel. god, you scared me." scared? what the fuck was he talking about? scared him? he was the one who walked in our place like a horror movie at 1 a.m. and he was the one who was scared? why was he scared anyway? with the dozen questions i asked myself in a second, i turned to my friend and saw the revolver in his hand. "what the fuck?! why do you have a gun?" i shouted at him without thinking. i felt like my voice sounded like a little girl. talk about first impressions. whatever. my friend looked relieved; "it was you, huh?" he said as the dog kept barking where it was standing. "calm down fluffy!" he yelled at the dog. right... fluffy. i remembered his name with a flash. fluffy... why would you name a giant german shepherd fluffy? and more importantly, how could i forget something of this level of stupidity?

"of course it's me! who were you expecting? your high school girlfriend? because as far as i remember she was the last one to make the mistake of being with you." the man said. he was laughing and as he laughed, he kept spitting which was enough for a little man to take a shower under it. "boy, she was one hell of a beauty. i remember the nights when i used to-" he coughed "this won't count as pedophilia right? she must be our age by now." he seemed thoughtful as if he was trying to answer a very difficult question. "are you done?" my friend asked as he moved his eyes away from the clock on the wall with a look on his face as if this man had just wasted some irreversible seconds of his life.

fluffy finally calmed down and lied down on the carpet. i was very confused with everything that just happened and i broke the hanging silence in the air; "will you explain anything?" i asked my friend. "sorry man, things just happened very quick. this is brock, and this is n.. brock, n.; n., brock." he replied trying to look at both of us. "whoa! so you are the famous n.. i heard a lot about you." the man said to me. "well i heard no shit about you", i wanted to say but my mouth did the talking instead, "yeah, me too.". "really?" brock said as he looked confused and turned his eyes to my friend like questioning him and my friend turned his eyes to me like asking "how?". it was a mess. but one thing was certain. everyone in the room knew that i've never heard anything about brock. maybe except fluffy. and he wasn't giving a shit as usual.

"the gun, joel." i gave my friend a questioning look. "yeah, yeah, the gun. the thing is... well... it's not like you think." he seemed lost. "are you guys married or what?" brock interrupted. "can you shut up for a second?" joel replied to him angrily. "i just have it, in case..." joel said. "in case what?" i asked. "look, i just have it ok? it's no big deal. everyone has one these days." he replied like a guy caught cheating on his wife. "and don't act like you're unaware of somethings. like oh my god joel! why do you have a gun? why?!" now he was defending himself. "everything becomes a big deal with you." he seemed like he concluded. "are you drunk?" i asked him. "maybe?" he replied. this whole situation seemed like a chaos.

"i'm sorry to interrupt you ladies but do i need to tell that we have to get going? now." brock said. he was still standing on the doorstep. i turned to joel but he seemed like he knew everything i was about to say and before letting me speak he said, "n., please. don't ask any questions and just go with it for once. i know i should have told you but i wasn't expecting him so soon. please, just take your things and come." he looked desperate. i knew this look very well. "ok." i said as i started to wear my jacket. "come on, fluffy. we are going." he said to the half-sleepy dog. "the dog is not coming." brock said as he tried to clean the dirt inside his nails.

"what?!" joel barked. "you expect me to leave him here? alone? he will fucking die!". brock looked tired, "you know we can't take him, joel." he said. "you always bragged about how well you trained him, so he will be able to get over this too. you know it has to be this way. you knew it the moment you called me." he added. joel didn't like the truth. he looked like he was about to puke. he wasn't looking at fluffy, he wasn't looking anywhere. "come." he said to me. "will you really leave him? won't you say goodbye at least?" i asked. "it'll only make things harder." he replied as he looked away, i think i saw a tear. it was the first time i saw him crying, if you could call this that. but there was something worse than all this. and even though no one mentioned it, it made me feel like shit. all these things, everything and everything that happened or will happen, fluffy, joel's tears... it was all because of me.
part III is out! read it here.

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