i'm gonna try

i promise.

this is derailing rather quickly. do i stop counting now? is it easy to stop remembering as well? for you it is maybe. maybe not. does it matter? i think not.

i've been getting so much praise lately, about the shit i write. i never really understood why. why do we read something that someone else wrote? why do we waste time with that? but again when you think about it, time is just there to be wasted.

cause it will all end some day. like it did some days ago. the thing is, it always ends and begins alike in a tedious loop and we get used to it. that's probably why we, humans, have a really hard time grasping the idea of it all ending one day and never beginning again. and really, what would it mean if we could bring ourselves to comprehend it?

*takes off his t-shirt cause the desert is too damn hot*

i still have my shorts on tho, so don't you worry little sunshine.

there is so much that i want to do. and there is also so much that i have to do. (to want and to have to are brothers sharing the same father but different mothers. and mothers are -just to remind you- important.) yet, i can never get to do any of those things. i wake up, i blink, and then i realize ten hours have passed. in just one blink of the eye. not an eye, mind you, but the eye. my eye.

you could have all the coffee in the world, yet it wouldn't change shit unless that coffee had dignity in it instead of caffeine. you could take a flight to anywhere in the world, yet it wouldn't mean shit if you didn't bring your heart with you. the word 'heart' has 'tear' in it, and a lonely 'h'. i guess i'm just gonna take the 'h' with me because i didn't deserve the tears.

inhaling the green while sitting on the green, under the purple. the sounds of others mixed with the sound of a bathtub. did you know that the bathtub has a sound? because it doesn't.

they constantly tell me that i should write, and write, and write. meaningless piles of words, put on top of each other. i don't know why, but i'm gonna try.

i promise.